At 23

A woman holds her brains in her hands while her heart fills in for her brains in front of a black moon filled with stars
Image from themindsjournal.com

I had it all
the job and all those friends
a house and sometimes even a man.
We’d go out
and drink while we danced
through nights and festivals.
I saw it all
we traveled around the world
soaking up cultures all around.

But now
I’m sat here in my room
searching for a house while
a pandemic paused my views
on jobs, travels and nights out.
I miss the friends that don’t live close
and music played out live.

However
those ideas of what I had
were pictures that twelve year old me
had drawn in her head.

And now
I enjoy nights filled with tea
and grand designs on tv.
Afternoons
coloured in by podcasts,
long walks and water paints.
While in the morning
I drink my coffee and search
while Arlo Parks fills the background sounds.

I take back the reins
and create a life which
twelve year old me didn’t dare to dream.
All because of
social insecurity.
This is me at twenty-three.