I close my eyes and feel the sun, when they open again I’m somewhere else.

A train makes the tracks rattle while a jazzy tune fills my ears and the smell of food welcomes me.

I close my eyes and take it all in, when they open again I’m somewhere…

As I dream about the future
I’m thinking of the past
About all the days
I’d hope would last

The thight hugs
and the endless laughs
Just the three of us
On the topdeck of the bus

Day drinking in the park
playing silly games
Out untill after dark

I know myself better now
My view has cleared up
Smiling at the thought
While slowly sipping from my teacup

I’ll work hard
and know that one day

I get to say
I did it just my way

I just want to tell you
nothing but the truth.
But in sharing your opinion
you’ve been so black and white
that for some reason I chose to hide.

The facts of things I used to share
without thinking or even care
cause I thought you’d be there.

I struggle…

It’s in the tiny bits
the way in which we’re
that perfect
imperfect fit

Late night calls
turned into
the perfect plan
when I’m fucked in the head

Soothing voice
the right push and pull
to get me moving
once more

The power we hold
together or appart
my favourite choice
I’ve ever made

And when I can
I’ll be there to
hold your hand
my perfectly imperfect friend

Day’s gone
Night just begun
Where’s this going to end
Memories in the back of my mind

Can’t do it again
Need to make amends
DEserve so much more
Than just anotther drunk encore
No need for the same mistakes
Someone needs to step on the brakes

Let’s just dance…

Its the irony for me, you see
I never planned to be this women
never thought to be doing it this way.
Told myself it was a one time thing
now I find myself, twelve months down the road
and wishing you’d asked me to stay. …

I know all the tricks
my mind plays on itself
I recognize it perfectly
and could write
exactly how it ticks.

But I can’t change
the way it goes
not on my own.

Because of that
I’m also aware
why I’m so scared
to ask for help.

I’m scared to say it out loud
to say the way you acted
resulted in how I reacted
and eventually got distracted
Cause I’m a people pleaser
to the ones closest to me
and hope that you can see
I had to say this
so I could save me.

It’s ten past ten at night
a lone candle burns
the next hour
for a woman who
walked home alone
at night.
I’ll turn off all the lights
at thirty past the hour
and pause

for all the women.

In a week of extremes
celebrating women
judging with no means
a shockwave through…

I’m anxious and I know
the cups of coffee
and tired bags under my eyes,
they show

I’m anxious and I know
these tired days
and sleepless nights,
they make me slow

I’m anxious and I know
the days are short
rain falls and wind,
they blow

I’m anxious and I know
tea would be a better choice
to give me back,
my flow

I’m anxious and I know
that time will pass
and once again,
my eyes will glow

I’m anxious and I know
that through everything
happening now,
we all grow

Here I lie again
in bed since
half past ten.
Uncomfortable
to say the least,
insecure about
what is to come.
No idea of
how the pain
will be.
This time around.

Now the clock
has hit 1 am
and I wonder
if I can
do all of this
over and over
again…

Floor Planken

Women, Reader, Listener, Citizen.

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